4 Candles

The handwritten script for this classic 2 Ronnies sketch just sold for £48,500. Great stuff.

Massive Attack and Portishead: Glory Box

Meet the Phelpses

Continuing on the theme of strange American families. Louis Theroux recently met this bunch, who call themselves 'the most hated family in the America':

In any country, let alone one as patriotic as the US, few actions are as provocative as protesting at a soldier's funeral.

The Phelps family pickets mourners across the country, to mark what it describes as God's revenge on the US for tolerating homosexuality.

Their actions are in the name of the Westboro Baptist Church, which numbers 71 and is headed by "Gramps", preacher Fred Phelps. The church, which is based in Topeka, Kansas, mostly comprises his extended family.

Louis Theroux says the Phelpses are the most extreme people he has ever met, which is saying something, and in this interview at the BBC, he talks about how three weeks with them left him perplexed by their motivation.

The family have been in the news recently after the church was ordered to pay nearly $11 million to the the father of a fallen soldier whose funeral was the subject of one of their protests.

And just to add a final element of weirdness to this whole thing, they have a website too: www.thesignsofthetimes.net

Here's an extract from Louis Theroux's program which was originally aired earlier this year:

The Golden Compass

Channel 4 Says Sorry to Stoke

And not just for endless reruns of 'Friends' on E4:

Channel 4 has apologised to the mayor and people of Stoke-on-Trent for saying it had a homelessness problem.

In Location, Location, Location last week the show claimed that one-in-five of the city's families were homeless, a claim its mayor rejected.

The channel has now apologised on its website, admitting there was an error.

The rundown of the best and worst places to live named Stoke as the 13th worst. Producers said the homeless figures did not affects its ranking.

A profile about the city on the Location, Location, Location section of the channel's website previously said Stoke was "one of the most depressed - and depressing - areas in the country".

It said: "Nearly one-in-five families here is officially homeless - stuck in B&Bs and hostels."

The full article at the BBC can be found here.

Caleb Samuel Bettany... er, I mean Bassford

I can't wait to meet you Baby Caleb!

The Other Famous Bettany

Who remembers the notorious Michael Bettany, who was convicted of treason and sentenced to 23 years in 1984? First off, I should mention, he's not related to us!

He is, however, apparently still around, having been paroled in 1998. There's not a lot of information about him on the web but there is a short article at Wikipedia , a reference at the BBC and I did find a PDF document, the gist of which goes as follows:

One of the most recent examples of bungling concerned the case of Michael Bettany, convicted as a spy in 1984. He was the stuff of which Messiahs, not spies. are made. After enjoying a sudden conversion to Roman Catholicism at the age of sixteen, he went to university where he was defiantly traditionalist, refusing to make any concessions in clothes or manners to the 1960s generation. Because of his old fashioned ways he did not enjoy much success with the girls, but consoled himself by listening to Hitler's Nuremberg speeches on record. A friend recalled, "He was easily goaded and if ever rebuked he would storm off, goose-stepping and cursing in fluent German.

MI5 snapped him up as being just the man for them. During the summer of 1982 perhaps tiring of Roman Catholicism and Nazism, Bettany became a Communist. In October of that year he was arrested and fined on a drunk and disorderly charge in central London. The policeman reported that when he came up to Bettany. Our hero babbled, "I am a spy. I am a spy". Within days Bettany was in court again for failing to pay a railway ticket fine. If a police officer in Britain were to be found guilty of a criminal offence, he would automatically be suspended from duty and quite probably dismissed. Bettany's superiors at MI5 decided not to follow the example of the British Bobbies. Within two months, he was promoted to the ultra-sensitive 'Russian desk'. Four months later, Bettany was caught attempting to pass information to the Russians who, suspecting a ham-fisted attempt by MI5 to implicate embassy staff in London had ignored him.

My favourite line: "I am a spy. I am a spy"!

Interestingly I also found an article written by the KGB officer who turned Michael in, Oleg Gordievsky. He describes Michael as "the traitor who offered his services to the KGB..." Slightly rich coming from the man who, himself, turned double agent. More on Oleg here.

One for you, Howard

The rise of the idiots

Possibly the best half hour of comedy I've ever seen, episode 1 of Nathan Barley unrelentingly bashes the Big Brother Generation and also those who react against it. I can't help but feel challenged by this damning indictment of British popular and "alternative" culture. I think it's basically saying that whether we desire to embrace or reject this shocking dumbing down of society, we are all, in the end, idiots.

Consider the Duggars

A family who like the letter 'J'

To date they have been blessed with 16 children, (10 boys and 6 girls) Joshua, Jana & John-David (twins), Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jedidiah & Jeremiah (twins), Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah (& Jennifer due July 28, 2007).

Joey Eppard

Just wanting to share a video I found today of Joey Eppard performing Bramfatura. It's probably one of the best ones i've seen. And I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

The Decline of Stoke's Croft

PostSecret Mini-Movie

By turns poignant, dark, funny, sad, compelling, PostSecret is one of the few non-work-related sites I visit on a regular basis. Updated every Sunday, the site is an ongoing art project where visitors mail in their secrets on postcards.

My Friend Graham

So it's been a while since I posted anything here, not surprisingly given how busy I am, but I can't resist this one.

You may have heard that BAA has recently won a High Court ruling banning certain protesters from Heathrow during a week-long climate change camp. Well my friend Graham is one of the undesirables:

When two students decided something had to be done about climate change, they levelled their sights on flights. Now, with 150 fully committed activists behind them, Plane Stupid is giving the aviation industry a bumpy ride - The Observer

Graham is the press spokesman and they've actually been in the news a surprising amount recently - as I discovered when I did a Google Search.

Coming soon: Stokes Croft - Bristol's Cultural Quarter

In the meantime, find out about The Peoples Republic of Stokes Croft.

Protection by Michel Gondry

Tom recently brought to my attention the new Massive attack video (although it turns out it's actually more than six months old?!) which sees a young woman drink herself into oblivion in her home over the course of an evening. This theme echoes one that I have become interested in over the last year because of my proximity to Stokes Croft in Bristol - an area that, despite undergoing significant regeneration in recent months, is still something of a melting pot of alcohol and drug addiction.

I described my personal experience of this rather earnestly in a blog I wrote last year when I first moved to the area which I called Beggars can't be choosers. Despite the fact that there's been quite a lot of water under the bridge since then, I'm still very much enamoured to the culture and personality of the area, in particular it's seemingly paradoxical warmth and friendliness. Of course, upon closer inspection, you realise there is no paradox and this is something which I'm looking forward in due course to discussing here in The Bettany Blog.

The Massive Attack video in question can be viewed here on YouTube. I decided not to embed it into this blog because I found another Massive Attack video which explores the similar theme of urban disaffection, which I prefer greatly, both because the song is one of my favourites and the video was directed with great artistry and skill by Michel Gondry, who, along with Spike Jonze and Chris Cunningham is one of the best music video directors of his generation.

I guess I decided to publish this blog and this video because I'm hoping to use The Bettany Blog as a means to further explore the problems that exist in inner city areas like Stokes Croft - as examined in Massive Attack's song and Michel Gondry's video - and this hopefully provides an interesting avenue into a subject which is close to my heart.

As for Spike Jonze and Chris Cunningham, who can forget The Beastie Boys' Sabotage and Aphex Twin's Come To Daddy?! A warning though before you click on that last link: Come to Daddy is violent and disturbing - aurally as well as visually!

Burma: Peripheral to Westerners' vision?

While the war in Iraq captured everyone’s energy and indignation, right on our doorstep exhausted, terrified Burmese and ethnic peoples face an age old conflict which roars and screams unabated. This war had its roots in British Colonial authorities forming alliances to divide and rule Burma. For some 60 years the people of Burma have witnessed and experienced conflict...

One for Dad, I think.

Boards of Canada on YouTube

Peep Show

I've been awfully blogshy over the last couple of weeks, a state of affairs which isn't good, especially considering I'm responsible for instigating this chronicle. Jake has been waiting for me to post something because, after all, this is supposed to be The Bettany Blog not The Big Brother Blog (although now that I mention it a post condemning the evils of that wretched show might provide some outlet for me to vent my frustration at the mediocrity of popular television, but I digress) and recently he's been the only contributor.

Jake has entered into the spirit of this bloggish endeavour with more enthusiasm than the rest of us put together, which isn't so suprising really since over the last few years he has usurped me from the position I held undisputed during the early noughties as The Bettany Media Man, becoming very media savvy indeed... I still find it hard to believe that his multi-tasking skills are so profoundly tuned that he can work and watch TV simultaneously, but as business is booming I can't really criticise anymore!

So, what's he been watching recently while he's been working? After all the high quality TV (and admittedly not so high quality - Jericho was a bit of a stinker, but still I watched!) he's introduced to the family I'm pleased to say I've finally been able to give something back. I had to go all the way to Australia to discover Peep Show, which is a bit bizarre since it is a thoroughly homegrown British comedy. However, Jake and I both agree that Peep Show is very certainly the best sitcom since Extras... the fact that technically it came before Extras is, frankly, a trifling irrelevance.

This clip is actually the very first scene of the very first episode, which was screened on Channel 4 back in September 2003. Series 5 has just been commissioned and I'm downloading Series 4 as we speak! Although I'm tempted to synopsise the show for you by way of an introduction to it, I figure it's probably best you work it out for yourself.

Nanotech Assembler

I'm quite enjoying the fact that this blog is ranging all over the place!

Outside the Prison

Prince Philip, Island God?

Honestly, if this one didn't come from the BBC, I wouldn't believe it: "Britain's Duke of Edinburgh may be planning a quiet birthday celebration at home this weekend, but there will be feasting and flag-waving in an isolated jungle village in the South Pacific nation of Vanuatu, where he is worshipped as a god..."

This reminds me of a phenomenon that has come to be known as Cargo Cults:

An isolated society's first contact with the outside world can be a shock — often the natives will first assume that the newcomers are spiritual beings of some kind who possess divine powers. With time, however, it will inevitably become apparent that the outsiders are mortal and that their power comes from their equipment (or cargo). Cargo cults tend to appear among people that covet this 'magical' equipment, but are unable to attain it easily through trade. Given their relative isolation, the cult participants generally have little knowledge of modern manufacturing and are liable to be skeptical of Western explanations. Instead, symbols they associate with Christianity and modern Western society tend to be incorporated into their rituals as magical artifacts. Across cultural differences and large geographic areas, there have been instances of the movements independently organizing.

Famous examples of cargo cult activity include the setting up of mock airstrips, airports, offices and the fetishization and attempted construction of western goods, such as radios made of coconuts and straw. Believers may stage "drills" and "marches" with twigs for rifles and military-style insignia and "USA" painted on their bodies to make them look like soldiers, treating the activities of western military personnel as rituals to be performed for the purpose of attracting cargo. The cult members built these items and 'facilities' in the belief that the structures would attract cargo. This perception has reportedly been reinforced by the occasional success of an 'airport' to attract military transport aircraft full of cargo[citation needed].

Today, many historians and anthropologists argue that the term "cargo cult" is a misnomer that describes a variety of phenomena[citation needed]. However, the idea has captured the imagination of many people in developed nations, and the term continues to be used today. For this reason, and possibly many others, the cults have been labelled millenarian, in the sense that they hold that a utopian future is imminent or will come about if they perform certain rituals.

Via Wikipedia.

It's actually somewhat unclear how many of these cults still exist, however the term was popularised in part by the remarkable physicist, Richard Feynman who used the expression "cargo cult science" in a speech he gave at Caltech and later as a chapter heading in his brilliantly readable autobiography, Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!

In the speech, Feynman pointed out that cargo cultists create all the appearance of an airport right down to headsets with bamboo "antennas", yet the airplanes don't come. Feynman argued that some scientists often produce studies with all the trappings of real science, but which are nonetheless pseudoscience and unworthy of either respect or support.

You can get a full copy of the speech in pdf form here.

Moon Landing: Take 2

For this and more conspiracy theory craziness: 47 Levels Above Top Secret.

TV Families 1: The Sopranos

So I've been thinking about The Sopranos quite a lot recently. Since the final series started building up to a conclusion last year, and ended finally in the US on Sunday, I've been tempted more than once to introduce mum and dad to what is widely considered to be the best TV drama series ever made. The finale was big news, even Radio 4 covered it.

So what's been stopping me giving Dad a copy of Season One? I know he's a fan of the Godfather films, so it can't be the mob connection; I also know he quite likes 24, so it not the violence, which actually in the case of the Sopranos, is relatively mild, if no less shocking.

My first thought was that there is casual profanity and recurring themes of infidelity and drug use. And in this sense, The Sopranos is distinctly worldly in it's depiction of modern life. Even so, that doesn't explain the whole of my reluctance. There's something more which comes in the larger than life shape of the main protagonist, Tony Soprano.

If you're not familiar with the basic premise, Tony is the erstwhile boss of a New Jersey crime family whose trials and tribulation at home and at work we follow over the show's 86 episodes. In the first ever episode, Tony suffers a panic attack at a family BBQ and is referred to a therapist, Jennifer Malfi, who he continues to see erratically through the show's 6 seasons. Through this interaction and through the day to day problems Tony encounters with both of his 'families', Tony becomes a character who is at once horrifying and sympathetic.

This is nearer the nub of it. Tony Soprano exists in a terrifying moral grey area. Without a doubt, he's a monster: Selfish and self-deluded not to mention a multiple killer and career criminal. And yet, across the period of the show, we also see him as a family man, a leader, a victim and a product of his own background. We also see an enormous amount of humour in the programme. It's impossible not to laugh for instance watching these dangerous men doing Michael Corleone impressions - or dressing up as Santa Clause for the local children.

It's often been said that the creator of the show, David Chase, declines to make a moral judgement about Tony, but I think that's quite wrong. As you see him and the other characters developing, you begin to realise that there seems to be very little hope of redemption for them. In the overall scheme of things for the Sopranos, right and wrong is clearly demarkated, it's just that seeing them on such a day-to-day level, makes their moral universe so much more complicated.

This, I think, is what makes the program so compelling. It's obviously a fantasy, but it does make a serious study of crime and contemporary ethics. That's quite interesting itself but the irony and the thing that makes it subversive is that quite probably it's also had an impact on contemporary ethics.

As Ben Okri writes:

"Stories are subversive because they always come from the other side, and we can never inhabit all sides at once. If we are here, story speaks for there, and vice versa. Their democracy is frightening. their ultimate non-allegiance is sobering... Stories are subversive because they always remind us of our fallibility. Happy in their serene and constantly changing place, they regard us always with a subtle smile. There are ways in which stories create themselves, bring themselves into being for their own inscrutable reasons..."

As it is, I saw the final episode last night and I won't spoil it by saying that the ending isn't simple.

Here's a clip from the end of Season 3. Tony's Uncle Junior is singing at the Funeral of a family friend. No spoilers here.

Stephen Fry, on The Internet

VideoJug: The Internet

A Warm Place

Rebellion (Lies)

The Creation Museum

Here's a controversial one from me to get people going!

May 28th saw the opening of the $27 million Creation Museum in Cincinnati, USA.

The mainstream reaction is unsurprisingly skeptical and the response in the blogosphere, doesn't seem to be that much more positive. I'm not actually sure I expect the Christian response to be particularly uniform either, at least on this side of the Atlantic.

Here's what the Museum has to say about itself:

“The Creation Museum will be upfront that the Bible is the supreme authority in all matters of faith and practice, and in every area it touches upon.”

“We’ll begin the Museum experience by showing that 'facts' don’t speak for themselves. There aren’t separate sets of 'evidences' for evolution and creation—we all deal with the same evidence (we all live on the same earth, have the same fossils, observe the same animals, etc.). The difference lies in how we interpret what we study. We’ll then explore why the Bible—the 'history book of the universe' — provides a reliable, eye-witness account of the beginning of all things.”

I'm wondering what the Bettany's think generally and what kind of response the museum getting in the UK? In your churches? Maybe it's not even on the radar...

Am I being paranoid if they really are out to get me?

So sorry if I seem to be banging the free world drum a lot at the moment but Noam Chomsky's book Imperial Ambitions has kind of got me thinking. I don't want to be ignorant any more and as a gesture I'm adding this link to The Bettany Blog sidebar.

(By the way, please let me know if you want me to add or remove a link from the sidebar. Unlike the USA, The Bettany Blog is democratic, I'm just a figurehead really)

Apparently Chomsky is an anarcho-syndicalist. Until recently I thought anarcho-syndicalist was a word invented by Monty Python in The Holy Grail. I obviously have a lot to learn. I'd better get reading if I want to become an Important Thinker.

Check this out for weird... I did a Google search on anarcho-syndicalist in order to check my spelling (and, if truth be told, to find out what it means). When I hit submit my browser hung for about 30 seconds and then crashed. Do you think the government now have me tagged as a potential trouble maker?

Maybe this Bettany Blog isn't such a great idea after all. I may have unwittingly put you all in danger...

[thud]
[King Arthur music]
[thud thud thud]
[King Arthur music stops]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven.
ARTHUR: I - what?
DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked...
DENNIS: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I am king!
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the...
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes...
WOMAN: Oh, there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of...
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: But by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major...
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, how did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake... [angels sing] ... her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up, will you. Shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

You can find the complete script for Monty Python and the Holy Grail here.

Expand Your Mind!

The really big questions

"... And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth..."
Genesis 1:28

Now I'm not saying that this family is anything special - in the scale of things it isn't; we haven't got any presidents or congressmen like the Kennedy's, no film-makers or natural historians like the Attenborough's, no documenters of the minutae of 19th century social niceties like the Bronte's - what's important, however, is that we think we're something special and, that being the case, if we get our skates on and start pro-creating we may well have a majority in a couple of generations so no-one else's opinion will be worth a damn.

Let me put that staggeringly egocentric statement into some kind of context for you. If we start having kids now then in three generations we could conceivably have over a thousand bouncing Bettany boys running amok amidst the great and the good - getting elected to parliament, making epic, moral movies with lovely, snowy beards, using their deep, warm voices to give credibility to big budget wildlife shows - and writing such books that will make readers weep tears of sorrow and joy... or fall asleep - depending on your taste.

Lads - if we look after ourselves and they invent lung transplants and stuff like that then we might even be around to see a Bettany elected President of the Galaxy! As for you Bassfords - well, you never know - you might one day produce offspring that will beat a Bettany at croquet.

Of course, I'm joking - and I was supposed to start this blog with a serious sales pitch so I could get all you guys as enthused about the prospect of a family blog as I am! I'm all too aware that this sort of thing can fall on it's face before it even gets properly up and running, so with that in mind please open your hearts and allow yourselves to be convinced of the merits of getting involved in such an fine endeavour as The Bettany Blog.

I'm sure you will all agree that our reunion over the weekend was a very special time. It gave us the opportunity to relax together and to commune with one another. There were moments which none of us will ever forget - the amazingly collapsing bench for example - but there were also moments when it appeared to me as though time was standing still, when the weekend seemed to stretch interminably ahead of us and all that we were required to do was exist together as a family - we were a single entity, with no other needs or desires save those that we could fulfill for each other and no other life outside the boundaries of the space we shared.

At the end of a full and hearty weekend, one by one or in pairs we left - without any particular pomp or ceremony - and that special feeling faded, that sense of togetherness - of oneness - lingers now only as a sweet taste in our mouths might linger - like mum's apple pie with a chilled glass of verdelho chardonnay - or the memory evoked by a particular sound or smell, the satisfying smack of your croquet ball connecting with your oppenent's, incense drifting through the back door along with singing from the kitchen...

Each time we get together someone always comments that we are different from each other in so many ways - and yet we are all branches that have grown from the same tree and in that sense we are the same. Friends and lovers may come and go but we are committed to each other forever. We define each other. In a very real way we cannot exist without one another. This special relationship we have - combined with the size of our family and the depth of our individual and communal sense of morality - puts us in a pretty unique position to comment on anything and everything.

So, what are the really big questions? Well, what's important to you? I've got a feeling that between us we have pretty much all the bases covered... over the course of the weekend I was involved in or overheard conversations about globalisation, imperialism, immigration, religion, racism, homosexuality, the middle-east, the influence of the media, music and architecture... and that was just the serious stuff! Most of the time we were smiling and laughing and reminiscing about the many happy times we have spent together.

Are we happy right now? That's a pretty big question! The interesting thing is that we will each have a different answer and that's something I'm fascinated by.

I think we are close but we could be much closer. We know each other well enough but we could understand each other better. We support each other but are we really helping each other? Individually we may be weak but as a family we are strong. I think it's time we flexed our collective muscles. We are special. Can we make a difference? To each other? To other people? I think a family blog might be a good way for us to start exploring these ideas - not in any formal way, just as a kind of experiment.

If each of us were to write one blog a month for six months then we would have sixty blogs. If each of your blogs was meaningful and personal in whatever way you want it to be then we would be all be given a unique insight into the lives of our brothers, sisters, parents and children - the life of our family - a thing which is constantly growing, changing and developing like a creature with a life of it's very own.